Why The First 3 Months of a Relationship Are The Most Important


The naïve bliss of a newly found relationship. We’ve all been there, enjoying endless time together, learning their favorites, embracing their idiosyncrasies, and ignoring the major red flags that are flying sky high—pure, rose-colored bliss.

Then the fatal three-month curse comes along, and you two blissful beings are forced to come face-to-face with each other’s flaws, faults, and flags you’ve been blind to for the last 90 days.

What no one tells you about new relationships is that they won’t be “new” forever. That phase quickly fades off, and true characteristics start to shine bright, or shall we say, glare deeply. The first three months of a relationship are the ones that can either make or break the bond of a newly formed relationship.

Here we’ve listed below a timeline of what to expect in a new relationship, the major signs to look for, and how to avoid a major meltdown.

First Month

This is the month where we see nothing clearly at all. What we recognize is pure potential, and that is perfectly fine. Because without potential, how would we grow? It’s the essence of everything worth working toward. This month, expect to be wooed, wined, dined, and won over by empty words and desired outcomes. This is the month where personalities are merging, and each party has its best interest at heart. We see nothing but endless possibilities, possible marriages, and potential permanent partnerships – we see what we want. This month is about laying our hopes and desires out on the table; it’s the purest form of beginner’s love; we’ve left insecurities, flaws, and prior experiences in the past, we believe that this is will be different, we work on pure hope.

Words of the month: Build, Envision, Naïvity, Excitement, Romance.

Major Red Flag: Look out for unexpected conversations of their past relationships and how they’ve failed. This will possibly foreshadow how the relationship will end while revealing the angst still harbored toward their ex.


Second Month

This is the month where we are a bit more comfortable with each other and begin to let our guard down, and adjusted our energies to merge. We’re calling out peculiarities; we’re voicing our differences; we’re no longer trying to “woo” our significant other; the “real” us is emerging, rightfully so. We’ve become comfortable withstanding our ground and voicing our opinions regardless if they differ from our significant others. Because, after all, if you can’t be yourself, who can you be? You’ve had your first argument; you’ve stopped speaking for a day or two (which seems like an eternity). This month is about recovering; the first fight has happened, now how do you move forward? What are the next steps? Evaluate if it’s worth fighting for. Don’t ignore those red flags because they will be a determining factor in month three.

Words of the month: Dominance, Confidence, Evaluation, Understanding, Boundaries.

Major Red Flag: Evaluate how your significant other is arguing. Do they argue to hurt feelings? Or are they arguing to make a valid point? Are they listening to respond or listening to understand? Who reaches out first after days of silence? Who is the bigger person? Who is open to growth and change?

Third Month

This is it. This is the month that will determine if you two will move forward or not. Why? Because after 90 days, there is only so much a person can hide about themselves, they aren’t able to fake who they want the world to perceive them as anymore, you’ve come face-to-face with the person who you could potentially be spending the rest of your life with. Is it worth it? Do you understand their love language? This month will test your character. If they are showing positive signs and want to move forward, it’s real. Lucky you. Build, listen to one another, understand their traumas, understand their perspective, and take it into considerations when rebulbing. If it’s worth it, you’ll know.

Words of the month: Growth, Character, Triggers, Communication, Resolution.

Major Red Flag: If your significant other can go more than three days without communicating, they are not the one. It’s simple and effortless. Let it go. Be strong, remember your worth, grow, and move forward from this situationship. 


Relationships are beautiful, but they aren’t easy – at all. They take work from both parties to make it a forever thing. And if it’s worthwhile, it will be second nature to become a better person for your partner.

But, if it’s not worth it, then acknowledge and recognize the lesson of growth and move forward with a deeper connection. With everything in life, there is a lesson. Understand that everything happens for a reason. Ask yourself what is this relationship teaching you? Stand outside yourself, and look within to find the real answer.

Destinee A. Hughes


Destinee A. Hughes is the Editor-in-Chief of 3-Hues.com where she discovers the best beauty products, wellness treatments, and sex & relationship topics.

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