Trick question: Who was your favorite cast member on Netflix’s The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, and why is it Zaina Sesay?
As one of the standout cast members, Zaina took a deep dive into emotional resilience and self-discovery throughout her journey on the show. During the reunion, a collective sigh of relief swept through viewers as they witnessed her transformation into a woman who exuded confidence and self-assurance, complete with high standards and a low tolerance for gaslighting.
In this exclusive interview, Zaina opens up about how The Ultimatum transformed her perspective on dating, the key qualities she now looks for in a partner, and how fitness and self-love have played a role in her healing journey. This is what life after The Ultimatum looks like for Zaina.
@zayxclusive This is what divine protection looks like ✨ As difficult as this journey was, I thank God everyday for revealing true intentions. And yes, I stand by The Ultimatum saving me from making the worst decision of my life 🥹❤️ #TheUltimatum #Netflix #Zaina
♬ original sound – ❤️ Carla ❤️
3H: After your experience on The Ultimatum, how has your perspective on love and relationships evolved?
ZS: Going through The Ultimatum really forced me to reflect on what I need in a relationship versus what I thought I wanted. I used to focus more on potential, but now I prioritize emotional security, healthy communication, and alignment in values. I’ve learned that love isn’t just about feelings—it’s about consistency, effort, and being with someone who actively chooses you every day. As the relationship evolves, it’s important to recognize when those things aren’t present, know when to walk away, and choose yourself. Actions will always speak louder than words.
3H: What are the top three qualities you now look for in a romantic partner?
ZS: Emotional intelligence is number one. I need someone who is self-aware, can communicate openly, and understands how to handle conflict in a healthy way.
Someone who shares my values in faith and creates a space where I feel safe—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That foundation is important to me in building a strong and aligned relationship.
Lastly, someone with authentic drive—meaning they are ambitious and always striving to grow, but they do it while staying true to who they are. I want to be with someone who is confident in their purpose, not just chasing success, but also grounded in their values.
3H: How do you approach dating now compared to before your time on The Ultimatum?
ZS: I’m way more intentional now. Before, I used to go with the flow too much and hoped things would naturally work out. Now, I ask the hard questions early on. I don’t ignore red flags, and I don’t force connections that aren’t in alignment with what I truly want. I’ve learned that it’s okay to walk away from something that doesn’t serve me rather than holding onto it out of comfort.
@zayxclusive Chapter 33 was a year of transformation, growth & healing in ways I never expected. So blessed to see another year in full alignment ✨ #pisces #birthday #alignment
♬ original sound – ZAINA
3H: What’s your love language, and how do you express it in a relationship?
ZS: My love language is all about being thoughtful and showing up consistently. I’m a giver and I believe in putting real effort into the relationship. It’s about making my partner feel seen, heard, and loved every day. I’m always looking for ways to keep things spicy, whether it’s through little gestures or meaningful conversations. I want to show up for my partner in ways that make them feel valued and I believe in nurturing that connection by actively working on it.
3H: How has fitness and wellness played a role in your emotional recovery?
ZS: Fitness has been a huge part of my emotional recovery. Moving my body, lifting weights, and even just getting outside for a walk helps me process my emotions. It reminds me that I’m strong—physically and mentally. Wellness isn’t just about working out; though. It’s also about setting boundaries, nourishing my body properly, and taking care of my mental health. It’s all connected.
@zayxclusive Starting WEEK 2 of my 5 week bday challenge!! 4 more weeks until my bday trip 🥹🌴Time needs to slow down just a little bit 🥲 Glute workout: •Hip Thrust (4 sets of 10-12) •RDL (4 sets of 12-15) •Reverse Lunge (4 sets of 10) •Bulgarian Split Squat (4 sets of 12 🙈didn’t hit record) •Sumo Squat (4 sets of 15) •Cable Kickbacks (4 sets 15) •Stairmaster Finisher 🥵 #fitnessmotivation #gluteworkout #legday
♬ Little Things x Gypsy Woman – L BEATS MASHUP – Jorja Smith
3H: What does self-love mean to you, and how do you cultivate it daily?
ZS: Self-love is about showing up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it. It’s being kind to yourself on the hard days, setting boundaries that protect your peace, and giving yourself grace while still holding yourself accountable. I cultivate it daily by speaking to myself with love, moving my body, staying consistent with my skincare and wellness routines, and surrounding myself with people who pour into me.
Zaina’s journey on The Ultimatum was more than just a reality TV experience—it was a catalyst for profound self-growth and clarity in love. Her newfound approach to relationships emphasizes emotional intelligence, shared values, and unwavering self-respect. Her story is a powerful reminder to always choose yourself, set healthy boundaries, and never settle for less than you deserve.
Stay connected with Zaina for more on her journey, and don’t miss The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, now streaming on Netflix.