Sex is always a taboo topic, even with your partner. It’s evident that we want to know the ins and outs of our partner’s sexual past, their sexual needs, and their ultimate sexual fantasies, but starting the conversation can be a bit – hard … and not the hard we’re looking for.
Aside from learning about your partner’s past, which is absolutely essential in figuring out how you fit into their future, it’s also important to be present about what their current sexual needs are and how you can [or cannot] fulfill them.
What is Your Ultimate Sexual Fantasy?
Talking to your partner about their ultimate sexual fantasies should be a guaranteed go-to question when discussing the horizontal bedroom tango. Asking this question gives each of you a good gauge into what visually and physically turns them on. Also, this is a great indication of whether or not you’d actually want to fulfill some of these fantasies, so be prepared for the answers.
Have You or Do You Want a Threesome?
Asking your partner this question lets you know their bedroom goals, and it also reveals whether it takes more than one person to fulfill their sexual needs. It can be fun if you’re in a solely sex-based relationship. But if not, then good luck, because once your partner starts the “threesome request” they don’t really stop, and now your once monogamous relationship is now polygamous.
Now, if it was a past experience, ask them how they felt about it, and what motivated the decision? Was it curiosity? Or were they just not sexually satisfied? These are key questions to let you know whether they want a real relationship or just simply someone to rendezvous within the bed.
How Many Partners Are You Currently Sexually Active With?
This hopefully is a question to ask your friend with benefits, because if you’re asking your partner whom you’re in a monogamous relationship with, then my friend, we have another issue at hand. Anywho, yes, it’s always good to be upfront about this question because then you can gauge two things: what to expect emotionally and how safe you have to be sexually.
Are You Into Swinging?
For many people, sex with the same person in a relationship can become a bit, how do we say – BORING. And, while it’s perfectly natural to take a peek or two at that hottie that just strutted by, a lot more couples these days are taking the next step and finding couples to swap partners with. Swinging parties and swinging clubs are for couples who are interested in swapping partners for a night of sexual escapades. It’s totally a thing, and oddly the older you get or longer you stay in the relationship the more apparent this option becomes.
Have You Been in a Same-Sex Situation?
This can be a dealbreaker for most people which is why this is an important question to ask right off the bat. There are so many sexualities that people identify as now, so getting down to their past relationships [if it interests you] is def. a talk you want to have. This is also a clear indication of whether or not they were in fact flirting with the waiter last night.
How Often Do You Get Tested?
Getting tested is extremely important – that is if you care anything about your health [which we hope you all do]. Ask your partner about their sexual health and when was the last time they had an STD test. Yes, this conversation may be a bit intimate, but can’t be as intimate as having sex and sharing an STD. So, skip the prescription pills and just ask the question. That’ll save you a lot of time — and health scares.
How Often Do You Want to Have Sex When in a Relationship?
If you’ve got the stamina of a horse and are ready to go five times a day while your partner’s libido can be likened to that off, shall we say a sloth, then this may be an issue. Having a majorly different sex drive than your partner can often lead to infidelity which no one wants in a relationship. You don’t necessarily have to ask this question flat out, but it’ll def. be a topic to discuss given the time frame and needs of the relationship. Because believe us when we say that the initial sexual peek you two have at the beginning of the relationship will eventually plateau.
What Are Your Thoughts on Children?
Listen, if you’re not practicing safe sex then this should honestly be your first question – just saying. Before you even ask them, ask yourself “would I be okay with pro-creating with this person?” if the answer is no, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex with them. We’re not saying you should only open up [get it?] to the future father of your children, but if you don’t even want to share the same DNA with the person you’re having sex with – then maybe just grab a toy and rub one out.
What Are Your Thoughts on Toys in The Bedroom?
Speaking of toys, determining whether or not your partner is into toys in the bedroom is a great indication of how your foreplay [and orgasms] will be. We’re always down for toys in the bedroom, because it’s a surefire way to be pleased – for the women at least. So ask your partner how they feel about a few straps, vibrators, and feathers, and pray to the sex gods that their answer is yes.
What Are Your Thoughts on Anal Sex?
If you’re down for a few anal adventures, then this is def. a question you’d want to ask your partner. Women are becoming more open [no pun intended] to anal sex and it’s becoming a thing. Anal sex is a bit more tasking than regular sex, so you’d need to be completely comfortable with your partner to do so. Talk about you twos past experiences and what additions you need in the bedroom to make it as satisfying as possible.